In the church of the poisoned mind

I've never really understood the term 'healthy cynicism'. Well, it's not that I don't understand it; it's more that I don't agree with it. As a concept, that is.Cynicism is not healthy in any form, in my books. It simply blocks the light from entering, blocks insight and inspiration, blocks the onward journey... Discernment or skepticism, ie, challenging the truth of something that doesn't feel quite right to us, inwardly  - now that can be healthy (because the truth can set us free (really)! But cynicism...? C'mon, really?This was brought home to me again last month when I revisited a friend who I had not seen for a time (I went through a phase in my twenties of letting go of people who didn't fit my changing consciousness - not intentionally; they just didn't 'fit' anymore). And seeing him again was like getting a chance to revisit a lot of the old patterns that he'd exhibited then - and again feeling what those patterns had triggered in me... but several turns of the compass forward.And what did it show me? Well, it brought into crystal clear consciousness how much I'd changed in the intervening period - and how little he had changed. At least from where I was standing. And why was this? His healthy (or not) cynicism  - and the energies he was 'choosing' to engage in as a result.Thing is, when I had spent time with him in my twenties, his way of being had irked me... I wanted to get away from his drip-drip-dripping negativity. Now, however, there was nothing in me to react to his pattern - I just watched, from the place of an observer. And noticed. With compassion, I noticed. And I noted how and why cynicism arises.You know what I think it is? It's a defence mechanism for the sensitive soul; the sensitive soul who feels beleaguered by,  disempowered by, feels that s/he doesn't fit into  (who does?) the outside world. And somehow this person thinks (wrongly), that by having a judgmental, 'attacking' view of the outer world like this, s/he will somehow be 'protected' from it. But instead, the opposite happens: the cynicism forms a shell around him or her and yes, it stops some of the bad stuff getting in; but it blocks the good stuff too... it closes the heart! And we can't do much with a closed heart, can we? Can we?In being cynical, we block ourselves off from the light - the light that transforms our journey, the light that brings us synchronicity to guide us, those free parking spaces(!) that I spoke of in my post yesterday, the light that enables the flow to flow. And it actually makes us feel worse, doesn't it, rather than better? It starts to taint the world around us, so we can no longer see the bright colours of a stained glass window, but rather, everything is fifty or more shades of grey (but let's not distract ourselves, here!)So when we feel ourselves getting cynical, getting into victim consciousness, it's important to stop, still and listen. Close the eyes for a moment, go deep in the heart, to the place where it hurts and sit with it for a moment. Have a conversation with the pain. And, once we find the root of it, with infinite love and compassion, we need to nip it in the bud. However much we feel someone has 'wronged us', however much we feel we have been a 'victim' of circumstances outside our control, it's important that we go right to the heart of it, ask some question like, 'What is my soul wanting me to learn from this situation?' and allow it to be transformed.Because low vibration is an insidious thing. And the high vibrational, the inspirational energies cannot reach us when we have a scrap of this stuff in our field. And it's for us to make that decision. It's for us to choose the shadow or the light.Anyway, after I had had enough negativi-tea with my biscuits, I said my goodbyes to my old friend. And, as I pulled out of the drive, the old Culture Club song of the title (love the song, dislike the concept) trilled out of the radio. And it made me smile. We all have a choice of where we choose to worship! And you won't find me on my knees in this place, that's for certain! <3